How to Get a Facebook Date (a 12-Step Process)

Step 1: loosen up your prospect with a drink to their ‘Happy Hour’ application

Step 2: drop some game anonymously in their Honesty Box

Step 3: Poke, but not more than twice

Step 4: Rank them high on their “Am I Hot?” application

Step 5: Message “wat u up 2”

Step 6: comment their profile pictures with such phrases as “this picture makes the word ‘damn’ a two syllable word”-or-“SEXAY!”

Step 7: check their events and conveniently show up at the same house party

Step 8: greet prospect with “hey, Facebook right? oh, you look so much hotter IRL”

Step 9: next day, request official Facebook friendship (do NOT mark ‘we hooked up’ as how you know this person, even though you did.)

Step 10: wait one week

Step 11: cease and desist

Step 12: browse singles; repeat.

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