The more I go out into the world scouting new people, the more I have the reaction of “what the fuck. They still make you??”
Case: I still talk to the Bloop Guy occasionally, or rather, he texts me while I’m out doing fun things and I just casually ignore it, because the truth is I’m neither available nor interested. I mean I did agree to see him again and I’m not dick enough to flat out cancel, though he was downgraded from dinner to lunch. (ouch) It’s true the real reason I don’t ever want to see him again is because my heart is elsewhere (though unappreciated), but still there are so many red flags for this Bloop dude that I can’t help but think RUN like DMC.
He hates his dad, which is whatever, but because he hates his mustachioed dad, he also hates all men with moustaches. Does he not know how awesome the ‘stach is? Jesus.
And his dad is Jewish. So he openly hates on Jews, right after I said one of my close friends is Israeli. One, his reasoning is ridiculous. Two, did you just listen to a word I just said?
And then he accused my dad of “extreme faggotry” because he owns a Creed album. I’m sorry, you just told me that one of your top three favorite songs EVER was “Brass in Pocket” by the Pretenders. It’s an awesome song, but it’s also the song that Scarlett Johansson sang in “Lost in Translation”
And then this was the last straw:
Bloop Guy: im surprised some crazy muslim asshole hasn't tried to pwn that thing yet
me: so you dont like jews or muslims?
or guys with moustaches?
Bloop Guy: hahahaha
never met a muslim
they seem a bit off.
moustaches? unless your burt reynolds or tom selleck, lets take it easy
me: how can you live in a major city and have never met a muslim?
Bloop Guy: meh
mostly indian people
they're something different
me: and having not met them, how can you say they're "off"?
Bloop Guy: easy now
me: well i think you made a very brash statement
Bloop Guy: idk they don't seem to be the nicest of people. considering they move to places like europe and dictate how people should live.
theres a dog in that billboard! dogs are filth!
lets blow shit up!
me: and christians dont do that?
and jews dont do that?
and atheists dont do that?
Bloop Guy: i dont really want to get into this man
its not something i like to discuss
because of one thing i said.
PS this guy is an Atheist Republican from a single parent home. I know. Identity crisis abound.
I guess I can only blame myself because I went into this knowing that he was a “Cantankerous Conservative”. I was swayed by impressive vocabulary (wouldn’t be the first time, won’t be the last). This guy gets the pleasure of my company Saturday at the Pennsylvania Dutch Festival, where he’ll likely rag on Mennonites too. THE MENNONITES, who mind their business and make delicious bread. Ugh.
Bigotry is so passé.