Talking Shit

The dude I’m dating got into Duke Law yesterday. Today he got a full ride to Temple.

Don’t get me wrong, I am super stoked for him, but this whole ‘wow you’re like the cat’s meow’ is making me feel inadequate, like perhaps he (gasp) ‘settled.’ But I am far from an underachiever! My GPA is near perfect, I’m the officer of three student organizations, I work 15 hours a week for an economic development firm, I volunteer and recycle, and I’m a nice person who regularly bakes goodies for her small and accommodating circle of friends.

So what could I do to reaffirm my self-worth? What could I do to prove to myself that I am just as much a catch?? Naturally, test my willpower. duh.

Starting Monday, and for the following ten days I will drink 6-12 glasses daily of a lemon-maple syrup-cayenne pepper concoction while I commit to going to the gym every other day.

Kat von D tried this cleanse on her show so I think it’s okay. She passed out, but whatever. I think I’m more hardcore than some chick that has a gold tooth and not a square inch of untatted hide. Totally, man.

If I don’t continue to at least semi-regularly update, there’s a good chance I passed out in the shower and drown. Wish me luck.

Jaibee, OUT.

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